We are constantly searching for the right person, the one who will complement us and take the place of that missing figure in our soul. We meet a person, fall in love, get disappointed and when splitting up hope for another lucky chance to meet ‘the one’. We are always looking for someone flawless, intelligent and gregarious. But we rarely think about changing our attitude towards these ‘searches’. This is the purpose of premarital counseling: to stop searching for the perfect another part but to become one.
Premarital counseling can help avoid that dragged divorce process with attorney visits and court sittings. Even despite the fact that divorce filing is now available online, this is not the reason to get married with the divorce in mind. Yes, you can now get divorce online by completing legal divorce forms but why not take preventive measures in advance?
Many couples, who are involved in a church or any other religious institution, are encouraged for premarital counseling by their religious leaders. Thus, why do not usual couples step up to the plate and get that help?
How Will Premarital Counseling Help Your Relationships?
You will learn to communicate effectively. There is a common stereotype that perfect couples never quarrel. This a misconception. If there are no misunderstandings and arguments, then the real problems are not brought up and discussed. Another reason can lay in one person suppressing his or her own emotions letting another one ‘win’ the conflict.
Maybe, they are just not a couple anymore. They are always swamped into their personal issues, living separate lives, therefore, there is even no soil for conflict to appear. Just imagine, you can scuffle but do it in such a way that you make a bond between each other tighter.
You will understand that a spark of love is not enough for a strong marriage. That little spark turns into a burning flame, but naturally, it does not burn forever. Love differs from a crush. Marriage is also built on trust and dedication not only physical attraction.
It is possible that your foundation for marrying is too fragile. Here are the worst reasons why can you want to marry that person: I am pregnant, I want to have revenge on my parents, I have low self-esteem and want to enhance it by changing my social status, this is my only chance to not live the rest of your life alone, I want to improve my financial situation.
You have to constantly work and develop your relationships. A lot of experts claim that the toughest period in the life of a married couple is a post-wedding one. The wedding is over, the dating period is over, it is time to think about children and taxes. No, discovering and investigating each other is never over. Of course, the feelings will fade out once you do not keep them warm.
You will understand the nature of money. Money can ruin marriages. To prevent financial ups and downs you will reveal all your thoughts on money during premarital counseling. There have to be no secrets around money in healthy relationships. During the sessions, you are supposed to share your financial condition in the past as well as your intentions and plans about earning and spending money.
You will share your thoughts about having children and intimacy. It is amazing that many couples do not talk on these topics. Not only you can uncover a potential deal-breaker in counseling, but it is also necessary to talk about how many children you want, parenting styles, extended family involvement, and others.
You will be clear on each other’s career plans and intentions. An individual’s job has a huge impact on family life. Will both parents work after having children? What if one loses a job? How will your work impact your relationships?
The Main Challenge Of Premarital Counseling
‘I am afraid to find out something I will not like’. The regular fluctuation before a visit to a premarital counselor is a fear to detect something unexpected and unpleasant about your partner. However, if you are open-hearted and sincere and do not intend to punish or get revenge, new findings will be fascinating and intriguing.
Summary
Can premarital counseling prevent divorce? Studies show that couples that went through these sessions are 30 percent less likely to get divorce online. Premarital counseling helps partners identify each other’s fears, needs, beliefs, and values. Even if after the counseling you arrived at a common decision to not marry – it will still enrich you with valuable knowledge.